Moments Like These
by TellMeDoYouWanna
Summary: Desire. A desire, a yearning, a fire within me so...so dark, so perverse almost in its intensity that I lunge forward, arms reaching out. Even now, I hate the intensity of love I hold for you. It makes me weak. AidoxYuuki. Side KanamexYuuki/ZeroxYuuki
1. Unrequieted

(*A/N) Bleh ... somehow i really like these two together ya know? =) I mean...it's never gonna happen, but STILL!!!! =D

This story kinda contains spoilers from that time...gaah i cant remember which chapter it was .... when Aido um...suggested that Yuuki give her blood to Kaname? I couldn't help but wonder what happened AFTER he ran up the stairs =D ... and idk ... i just like the idea of the playboy falling for the nice girl that his boss just happens to be in love with XD ...

Im not begging for reviews, but I did have a lota fun writing this so idk...it'd be great if you liked it too =) . Enjoy! (*hopefully!)

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"Ohayo, onna-tachi!"

My voice. That meaningless sentence falling from my lips only to draw forth those shrieks from the swarming masses by the Moon dorm gates.

It means nothing to me that doing so will distract you from keeping them away from me and the others.

It means nothing to me that it will cause you naught but exasperation…some kind of fractious, inevitable attention you must pay towards me.

It means nothing to me that it will draw forth those sighs of annoyance from the rest of the Night Class—my voice heralding our arrival, the girls from the Day Class screaming their adoration as they so try to rush towards us…

It means I can make you look at me again.

"Kyaaaaa! Idol-senpai!"

Those swarming masses. They mean nothing. With a mere flick of my wrist I can part them as easily as the human creation Moses so parted the waters of the Red Sea—a childish pursuit I had accomplished so many years ago. Their attention…it rankles against my senses somehow, as much as I know it will to yours.

And somehow…somehow, in my heart…I can sense the faintest strains of a far-off music, a soft, suppressed hope I cannot but hope to believe in whenever I see those crowds—knowing…knowing I will see you there. It's not their attention I seek. It never has been.

But I can't let you see that…can I?

"Hanabusa…"

Akatsuki. Always the sensible one. His voice a low, deep murmur of disapproval, trying half-heartedly to stop me from yielding to such foolishness.

I watch him, not for the first time, in envy—resenting the impressive height to which I always feel so dwarfed…to the wavy swathes of mussed red-gold hair he barely even runs a comb through—unlike the hours I spend over my own—spraying, gelling, blow-drying it into place…to the fiery topaz-colored eyes a mere cursory glance from which can send any one of my own "Idol-senpai!" screaming fangirls into transports of delight—"KAIN SENPAI! Kain Akatsuki-senpai!"…I bite back a sharp poisonous swell of jealousy, feeling my fist clench with fury at what I see suddenly to see my own inadequacy.

My stomach clenches at the thought. Akatsuki is everything I am not--reserved, patient, staunch, resilient…he would make a better lover. His embrace, while comforting you those cold, winter nights when grief threatens so, so near, would heal you far better. His love, his presence…you would be happier.

But the thought of you with another…I...I can't bear it.

Akatsuki looks up with the same languid boredom in those hawk-like golden eyes, but in them flickers a slight unaffected surprise at this sudden turn in attention.

And I? Once more, I nearly forget where I am going—standing lost, frozen like the very ice that runs through my veins and coils at my fingertips at the thought. The shift in attention does little to affect me…merely the sight I see now before my mind's eye—the thought of you…of Akatsuki…

Of course, it is a near impossible notion—smitten as he is with Ruka, who now walks haughtily past, casting an icy glare over the shrieking Day Class girls with a frigidity in her ash-grey eyes rival to that of the male prefect, Kiryuu Zero—having them withdraw slightly, expression of utter fright on their faces, only to draw forward once more with renewed courage once she passes.

One of the girls from that teeming crowd reaches out daringly—"Idol-senpai!" I flinch back instinctively—forgetting completely my role as the friendly, gorgeous attention-wrangler of the Night Class, receiving perhaps so well, so selfishly their attention…drawing back from the touch that is not yours with distaste, a flicker of revulsion briefly crossing my features.

It is not her touch I want…it never has been, never will be.

A wave of fear, of impatience, of angered panic passes through me—scanning the crowd wildly, wondering where you are…wondering why I do not see you, after so long…

"HOI! Back in line, you!"

Reality is a cold breath over heated skin, hair standing on an edge. It jars against my senses, leaving me swearing softly under my breath—a word that my noble upbringing has so forbidden me to use, as I needs must acknowledge the presence of that swearing, foul-tongued bastard. The male prefect. Kiryuu Zero.

I feel my teeth grit, staring coolly at him—moulding my features to one of mild annoyance at this drawing away of attention…and yet, I cannot but feel relieved at it. The attentions of these Day Class girls…so cloying. So bothersome. Almost nauseating. As much as I hate to admit it…he's saved me this time. Saved me from a touch that I would otherwise shudder away from in revulsion.

And yet, as I look at him—him, in his pale, striking glory, with his unusual hair that gleams as silver gilt, lying in an untamed mop over a high, broad forehead and lean, vaulting cheekbones, those strange eyes the color of the palest amethysts, skin pale as moonlight turned even paler by the obsidian of the Day Class uniform…a face handsome enough to rival any one of the Night Class youths…I feel my fists clench, teeth grit against the foul, poisonous jealousy beginning to creep into my chest, a wild, pounding intensity bursting to life within my veins, rage slowly beginning to steal into my formerly expectant, though then untouched consciousness. Here is yet another rival.

I may not fear Akatsuki loving you…but Kiryuu Zero…he who sees you each day…he who may see you, and touch you, and hold you and love you as I know myself he so yearns to do…he who may love you with impunity…

I remember the day you had come to the Night Class dorm to speak to Kaname-sama—of what I knew not of…knowing it to be so irrelevant when it came to your presence against my own. Those…humans…from some research centre…how their presence had rankled against my yet sleep-dulled senses. _This is something we can request only of you…the boy who has come to be known as the miraculous genius…_I had groaned and yawned and complained to no end, fighting off each offer they made almost to the point of freezing the tea in their cups and the glass on their spectacles, having to request them…not so politely, to leave.

Until…until the door opened—letting in that blazing, killing light of the sun outside. I had looked up—infuriated somehow at this double intrusion…until…until I saw who it was.

"Yuuki-chan?"

My voice was a rasping whisper, throat suddenly as dry as a bone.

The breath I hear, sense, feel you draw echoes against my consciousness as would a sheet of rain over naked skin—it clings to my flesh, drawing the most miniscule drops of arousal, of sweat to stain the untouched skin of neck, chest, arms, thighs…a pleasant trembling beginning to overcome me, so much that I fear losing myself before these unknowing humans. _Do not speak,_ I beg silently, watching with horrified delight as you step into the room, the sunlight turning into a halo of blood-red the hair that falls to your shoulders, and a pale olive the alabaster of your face, throat, hands…_I beg you, my love…do not speak._

For to hear that voice…to hear that sweet innocence ringing from a sound as soft, as unintentionally alluring, as hypnotic in its purity as any siren of the myths…it would be too much for me. My resolve would crumble to nothingness. Even now, as you fumble in awkwardness—_kawaai ne…_some part of me thinks, a surge of tenderness rippling through me—the desire to expel these useless humans out of the door and be alone with you overpowers me.

It would only take your voice…it would only take that little.

"Idol…ah, no…Aido-senpai!"

The carpet upon the marble-tiled floor rustles as I begin, not using a fraction of my strength, to push the two men out of the door. "_Ah, kora…antatachi khayatte, khayatte_…leave now! Go on, you two, off home!"

Ignoring their protests, I push them out of the door, my strength used completely in keeping my eyes away from your own widened ones, used completely in suppressing the breathless, agonizing ecstasy exploding in my gut seeing you standing there...watching me…watching _me_…suppressing the heartbeat pounding so wildly in my chest that it almost…almost hurts. Hurts far…far more than the sunlight falling against my skin, burning my eyes as I reach to shut the door. Hurts far more than the punishments I must face when incurring Kaname-sama's displeasure.

My fate is swift, irrevocable. I would burn for you. I would die for you. I would live a thousand hells merely to possess those eyes, those lips, those gentle hands, those tender smiles…merely to possess them forever.

But I can't let you see that…can I?

"Ah, it's so bright!" I declare plaintively, wiping my eyes—any excuse…any excuse not to look at you is enough. Already my head reels at the sweet inexplicability of your scent…the familiar coiling strains of emotion twisting around my heart and wanting no more to than to near you, to fold you in my arms and hold you there forever... "And I'm tired, I'm getting annoyed…it's all their fault!"

You begin to fidget again, and it takes all my strength not to clasp you to myself that moment. "Um…I'm…I'm sorry for bothering you, Aido-senpai…."

Desire. A desire, a yearning, a fire within me so…so dark, so perverse almost in its intensity that I lunge forward, arms reaching out—when the slight widening in your eyes tears at me. Something...something—perhaps the intensity of my gaze, or the steady purpose behind a movement otherwise so fleeting...something frightens you. I frighten you.

And so I grit my teeth, forcing myself away from this yielding to weakness, cursing myself. Even now, I hate the intensity of love I hold for you. It makes me weak.

And so my arms pull back in an imaginary stretch, a perfected yawn escaping my lips, eyes closing and turning away once more to hide the wild, desperate longing in them, moulding my features into the plaintive languor of one freshly awoken. "Ah, don't worry about them…" my voice cracks a little at the false, weary indifference I must put into it. Even now, I cannot...I cannot let you see what you do to me.

Curiosity, and not a little dread, is an inescapable grasp—I must know why. "Why have you come? Everyone is asleep." Everyone but me. How can I sleep now—knowing you to be so near?

When words fail you once more—as they so often do in the presence of my kind—I near you, unable to control the raging need within myself any longer at your distance. To describe what now I feel as sensual indulgence would be a gross understatement. Even now, your skin ripples beneath my touch, your breath a silken veil against my cheek, the heartbeat in my chest pounding so wildly it leaves me breathless, reeling… "Ah…could it be that you've come here to share your blood with me, Yuuki-chan?"

You wince and pull away—a heart-wrenching movement that leaves me once more bereft of the warmth I held in my arms but moments back. "Ah, no! I…I came here to see Kaname-senpai…"

I stiffen, feeling the coldness that had enveloped my limbs at your pulling away turn now into shards of the very same ice that lives beneath my flesh, sings through my veins, runs in my blood. Ah, Yuuki…the world of the Kyuuketsuki is a vile one. Emotions revealed would always hint weakness. Your beloved Kaname-senpai himself is a master of this…and like him, what can I do but love you? You, with that light, that innocence within your soul that all of my kind so desire to whiten the blackness of their own hearts?

It is…a madness, a vile, terrible madness that begins to numb my senses then, making me speak against my desire, making me act against my will, making me speak—"Oh, is that right?" I pull away roughly from you, pain spearing through my heart at seeing you wince. "In that case, come this way."

Some part of me has already begun to scream, to weep, to cry out at this injustice I now do—longing no more than to keep you away from…from him, knowing how he will so make you forget about me…knowing how he will so take you away from me.

"Aido-senpai?" the untainted wonder in your tone causes a ripple of sweetness to cascade down my spine, turning my head only slightly to cast you what all would know to be a look of annoyance, of mild irritation…when in truth, it hides a hurt so profound, so deep that takes every fiber of my strength, of my life to conceal. "You're…you're actually going to show me the way?"

Each step I take takes you further and further away from me. The hands that desire so deeply to rake trails of bloody flesh through my chest and cause me pain…some pain, any pain to make me lose myself within it…to make me forget—these hands are now curled behind my head, soul burning at the unwilling steps I take now.

I cannot let you see what you do to me. I cannot let you see the pain dulling my eyes, the sorrow causing a trembling ache in my chest, the inexplicable agony flooding to life within each movement I make and making any other form of torment a welcome respite.

"Kaname-sama only favors you…everyone merely imitates his actions." A lie. A bold, blatant lie. A lie so impossible that my mind fails to conceive how you can believe me. "Yuuki-chan...there. Who left that fang-mark upon your neck?"

I watch you gasp, fingers reaching reflexively for the tiny holes on that pale, swan-like neck, reaching for the band-aid I now hold in my hands—a small, humorless smile playing at my lips, knowing that my eyes are blank, devoid of emotion, feeling a numbing veil of rain-like coldness beginning to overcome me—pushing the pain away so as to save you from the monster this…pain makes me…pushing it away, insanity beginning to overwhelm my senses.

This is not the raging and storming I had expected myself to show were I ever to be faced by a truth so…so inevitable.

This is the worst pain…cold and cruel.

Even now…as you look at me, with those large, red-brown eyes widened with shock, with fear, with remembered pain, the part of my mind not overcome with this cold, sinuous, silk-like madness—willing to cause myself the deepest pain by my own actions—this part of my mind has already begun to weep…to weep at having my fears confirmed. "Last night…" I murmur absently, leaning against the stairway rail. "Last night, the smell of blood suddenly drifted into our classroom. It…aroused us," I raise my eyes towards you, allowing perhaps for a moment the pain to break through the indifferent mask I must not let you see through. "I was the only one to notice straight away…that it was the smell of blood from you…Yuuki-chan."

The air trembles around me as your breath hitches—even your heartbeat begins to increase at this abject confession. I cannot tear my eyes away from you. It is…the only testament of the love I hold for you that I shall ever let you see.

But you must know. The unspoken question yet lingers in the air.

And so, I speak—the name of the one I once revered, almost worshipped as a god now falling from my lips as though it were a curse.

"Because Kaname-sama told us to forget about it…we calmed down."

And it is this that perhaps makes me lose myself completely at what now I see.

"Kaname-senpai?" those eyes widen once more…those eyes I long so deeply to claim for my own. They lower now—the fan of black lashes closing over them like wings, a swathe of red-black hair falling over your face, obscuring for a moment the sight I see each time before sleep claims my senses.

Before my eyes…before the eyes of he who loves you and knows that he can never truly claim you…a hint of red begins to suffuse your cheeks. Those eyes gaze into the distance, away from me…already I have begun to lose you…full of a wistful, hopeful melancholy, of barely-suppressed hopes and half-sated desires, of pensive dreams of a desire you cannot admit concealed by the lavender darkness of night and a yearning, a longing in your heart that can never be mine.

The look of a woman in love.

It is _he_ you love. Not me. Him. Kaname. Kuran Kaname. Once my hero, my idol, the one I longed no more than to serve and one day—perhaps—even befriend…and now…and now, no more than he who has the power to destroy all hope of happiness I could ever have been so foolish to claim in some distant, thoughtless part of my mind as my own.

A harsh breath leaves my lips—a sound holding some part of the anguish this numbing insanity does not allow me to feel…and yet, and yet which would be far comforting…far more comforting than this unnamable, intangible agony that rages a silent war within me—a battlefield where I stand alone beneath fire-torn skies and black, barren wastelands of lost hope. It is he you love.

Not me. Never me. Aido Hanabusa no longer exists…what you see before you now is the cold, cruel monster I have become…knowing not what hurts me more—that you are in love with Kuran Kaname…or that you have been bitten by another…to know that I have lost you…or that you were never mine to lose.

White oblivion. Silent white oblivion. Whatever part of my mind that claims sanity now disappears into this terrible whiteness…making me do what I would otherwise never find it within myself to do, what I would otherwise never even see myself capable of…you may have, with a single look, with a single motion, with a single sigh, with a single word, rent to unintentional pieces this broken, bleeding excuse of a heart—and yet…and yet how can I ever hurt you with my own mind?

This is what you do to me. This is the beast you make me.

Slowly, all the candles in the room begin to extinguish—leaving a softly-lit chamber now dark with a gloom not even sunlight can penetrate, as I feel the icy cruelty within my blood beginning to lose its control, spreading a white vein over the room, causing you to tremble. The beast within me purrs with glee, watching the tremors upon your flesh—knowing that it is _I_ who so causes you to feel so, that it is _I_ who so causes those eyes to widen as I near you, that it is _I_ who so causes that soft breath to melt against my throat at our nearness.

"Ah, I'm getting irritated now…" my voice is a trembling rasp—some part of me acknowledges the understating irony of my words. A sheet of ice escapes my palm—traveling in icy veins down the banister of the staircase, over the stairs themselves…traveling towards you. Wild, desirous insanity—sending a shock of ice-blue fire through my soul. "Tell me, Yuuki-chan…just what are you to Kaname-sama?"

I watch your fear…feel the fluttering heartbeat, see those eyes widen, hear the tremors rack your frame and whatever little of me is left within shrieks with the despairing anguish it causes me to see you so. Waves of raw, troubled energy begin to shoot from me, the sheet of ice encircling your foot, entrapping you.

I watch those terrified eyes follow me as I near you, the insanity now beginning to show—I will never know what you so see in my face, in my eyes that so warrants such…untainted fear to darken your own…knowing the ravage, the anguish, the suffering what I have done to you will later plague me with… "_Ne, _Yuuki-chan…_omaewa _Kaname-sama_ no nani?"_

It is a question that does not need an answer. I have…always known. I have always hated him for it. I have always…

You draw back from my touch—a hint of revulsion crossing those wine-dark depths, a spear of terrible pain darkening my heart at your drawing away from me. Ah, Yuuki…I had thought you incapable of causing anyone pain—and yet here you leave me…bereft of a heart. "Ten years ago, Kaname-senpai saved me from a bloodthirsty vampire, Aido-senpai," you speak, an indignant blush creeping up your cheeks again. The beast I now am feels the familiar ache tightening around its throat, watching the blood pound within your veins, the scorched dryness in my chest beginning to throb with the desire to feel your sweet blood within it. "I am…indebted to him for it."

I laugh—a low, short bark of humourlessness, knowing it to be a mere veil to the grief at your nearness to him…and not to me. "Oh, so that's how it is?" Whose voice is it now that speaks? Whose tongue is it now that so causes these sounds? Whose lips form these cruel, cruel words that I know will so hurt you—and that will so hurt me? "Then, Yuuki-chan…because Kaname-sama saved your life…would it not be better to offer every last drop of blood in your body to him?"

You draw back instinctively, confusion filling those eyes. "Blood?" you whisper, gaze lowering to the floor, unable to comprehend the true meaning of offering one's blood in my world. "Blood?"

"I see," I murmur, reaching for you once more and trailing a finger down your throat—close…so close to where the fang-marks are. "Your blood already belongs to Kaname-sama…"

How I long for you to know. How I long for you to understand. To offer one your blood in our world would be to offer one to make love to you in your own. Why else do I yearn so deeply for yours, Yuuki? Why else would I risk Kaname-sama's wrath to taste but a drop of yours?

Why else would I so risk losing my life to love you so?

"Those fang-marks are not those of Kaname-sama's…are they, Yuuki-chan?"

Once more, a rippling wave of agony—flooding within me…muted now, but I know how it will soar into a raging frenzy later. "You must not offer your blood to anyone, Yuuki-chan," I whisper, nearing you even closer…close enough for the beast to sink its fangs into your throat…close enough for me to press my lips against your own…"Not even me." The words are icy spears to my ravaged heart. "One day…one day, Kaname-sama will most certainly drink your blood…most certainly, Yuuki-chan."

You close your eyes, turning away from me, shaking your head to block away my voice—and the beast enjoys every bit of it, enjoying the pain it causes you…enjoying the shattering anguish it causes me. "Aido-senpai…_yamete!_ Stop it!"

"And being the man I know Kaname-sama to be…he shall treat you so, so gently," my voice is a colorless murmur, knowing that I speak not of how I see Kaname-sama to treat you…merely how I would so fulfill this dark, bestial yearning within me were the offer ever to arise. Such is my desire. Such is the beast I hold within myself. "So, so very gently, Yuuki-chan…"

"_Yamete! _Stop! I don't want to hear it!"

"And then his fangs will sink in slowly…so, so very slowly…"

"Aido-senpai…stop! Please stop!"

"And when Kaname-sama does so…"

"Stop it! Why are you saying such terrible things? Stop it! Please stop it!"

"And were you to remain docile…"

"Aido-senpai…please! Please!"

"…then you will experience the greatest pleasure this world can ever offer to you…Yuuki-chan…"

"Ai…" your voice—raised in another protest, dies away. Those eyes lower once more with confusion, frustrated longing, poorly-concealed hope…with fear and love and pain. "Aido…senpai…"

I breathe—trying hard…so hard, to ease the suffering that mere glance can so rack me in, knowing how deeply…how unconsciously you long for him to do so. How you long for his love. How you long for his touch… "Ah…you might as well request him now, Yuuki-chan," the beast murmurs, feeling my fingers burn with a pleasurable ache from where they touch your neck. "Please…please take my blood…"

A gasp—coldness. You slap my hand away. "Aido-senpai—stop deciding on your own!" you declare indignantly, pulling away from me.

The beast chuckles—a low, dry rumble in my throat. "Embarrassed, much?" I murmur—feeling myself at the last ruction of desperation. Not only has another bitten you, not only do you love Kaname-sama…but you would turn away from me as well?

The beast grabs you roughly, a hand closing over your elbow—marveling at the fine delicacy of your frame…a glacial sheet of ice traveling up from where he grasps you to your shoulder, laughing quietly at the low whimper of pain that involuntarily leaves your lips, the fear in your eyes. "Why, Yuuki-chan?" I whisper, the brief flashes of sanity through the beast's reign. "Why _him? _Why?" _Why not me? Why not me, Yuuki? What don't I have? Why do you still love him even though I…I… _"Aido-senpai—enough already!"

Your hand reaches out to give me that well-deserved slap…a mere touch would be enough…enough to kill this monster within me…enough to convince me somehow that you will still touch me even despite the unforgivable nature of what I have done…

And you are stopped suddenly by another, white-clad arm—fingers closing gently around your wrist, stopping you from striking me. Our movements mirror each other—yours in astonishment, mine in livid fury at the intrusion, ready to kill whoever it is that dares interfere…when the familiar lean length of Kuran Kaname before my eyes causes the beast within me to retreat into the darkness of my soul once more. "_Yamenasai,_ Yuuki," he murmurs.

I feel the blade within my heart twist again—for once, caring nothing for his presence…feeling my gut wrench, seeing the blush creep into your cheeks once more…your eyes, when they look at him, are what I dream of each night…that same dazed, wide-eyed confusion at the violence of emotion he so causes within you—that same perplexed desire, that same mystified yearning…you love him and do not know why.

A warm mist begins to rise in the air...a pitiful remnant of the ice that had once so grown from my fingers. "Kaname-sama," I murmur tonelessly, knowing what to expect...knowing that I deserve it...knowing that I so want the pain his displeasure will mete upon me. To have hurt you so...to have so caused you such pain...it is not enough. No punishment in this world would be enough to atone for having hurt you.

Not you. Never you...Yuuki. My love.

Even now, as he releases your wrist to lance it across my face in a sharp _thwack_ that has my knees buckling, sending me falling to the ground, feeling my tongue crumble to bleeding nothingness as teeth crush it, blood pouring in slow drops to the floor...even now, I relish this pain. It is naught compared to the slow, exquisite agony now beginning to creep into my chest...not the pain in its entirety...only the sinful promise of it.

"Who wishes such a thing?" Kaname-sama's voice is a low, toneless murmur—but it would be a fool who would miss the dangerous note within it.

And so, I will take the punishment upon myself...yet again. It is for you, Yuuki...only for you.

"No one," I murmur...once more a lie. A bold, blatant lie. "It is I who am at fault, Kaname-sama..."

I drop to my knees, and even now...even now, it is not he to whom I bow. It shall never be. He cannot ever possess me...he cannot ever cause this terrible, soundless agony within me, he cannot...cannot so bring me down to my knees like this. Not anymore. The several years of atonement I had so put myself through so as to obtain his forgiveness for the terrible things I had spoken about him as a foolish child...I had never known when it had begun, or when it would end. Now I knew.

No longer did I serve Kaname-sama. No longer.

How could I? How could I, when I belonged...body, heart, mind, soul, to this mere human girl who stands now next to him...those red-brown eyes widened at the utter defeat of my stance...at the hopeless anguish that tucks itself into each corner of my drooping shoulders, at the inexplicable agony that hides within the vibrations of each trembling breath my parted lips and gritted teeth fail to hide at this...this terrible knowledge that I must now live with? "_Saghare,_" Kaname-sama murmurs, a dark spear of agony probing into my consciousness...merely a fraction of his power as a pureblood. A promise for later punishment.

_Forgive me…please, please forgive me…Yuuki…_

I take to my feet—"_Hai,_" I murmur, unable to lift my eyes to so look at you as I leave...taking three steps at a time, running away...running away. Mortified guilt, shame, anguish explodes in my chest, leaving me breathless—now I long no more than to merely distance myself away from you...from those eyes which look not merely at me but into my soul...at my deepest secrets, my darkest desires...how can I? How can I leave when you stand there...with _him?_

What little of my strength that is left, I use to cloak my aura—knowing that Kaname-sama will eventually find me...knowing that this intrusion shall warrant further punishment...but it matters not. I must know. I must know why you were here. I must know, Yuuki...my love...

The strength I use to cloak my aura lowers my hearing, and so at first...at first, your voice is no more than a low, soft murmur against a wild wind. Finally...finally, I can perceive faint voices, faint ripples of sweetness curling down my spine at the sound of your movements. In my mind's eye...I can see your hands gesticulating, head shaking wildly, eyes wide, so...so animated before him..._just like a child,_ some part of me not occupied with pushing away both the pain as well as concealing my aura thinks. _Just like a little child._..a child that I longed no more than to love...to protect...

A slide of skin over skin...of flesh touching flesh, of the coldness of alien blood against alien blood...of warmth against warmth. A shuddering gasp leaves my lips. He is...he is touching you. Causing you to so tremble. Causing your heart to beat so…so quickly. Causing you to so love him...

Causing you to forget me...

"It's all right," Kaname-sama's voice is a dark, serpentine ripple against my consciousness...so dark, so...so very dark, unlike yours. "All you need to do...is to be yourself, Yuuki..."

What is he saying to you, my love? What words does he speak, what lies does he whisper for you to love him so? I may owe Kaname-sama a great deal...I may not ever gain his trust nor his friendship, and it was a time long, long ago that that actually mattered to me anymore. I may forever fight for him...but it is only because you are precious to him, and that somehow...some way...I can protect you by serving him.

Do you see now, how my pride fades to nothingness before you, Yuuki? Do you see now how I would willingly be made a pawn in Kaname-sama's grand scheme of achieving to some level whatever dark games his race of pureblood beings play...merely for your happiness? "You are different from those under me," Kaname-sama murmurs, the touch of his palm against your cheek renting its bronze-tipped claws against my heart. "Only you...only you are full of warmth...warmth and light."

I crumble, sliding down the wall on broken knees unable to bear this terrible weight anymore. _Yuuki..._I flounder helplessly, reaching out for you. _Don't...don't listen to him, Yuuki...don't...please...please...I beg you, Yuuki...don't...don't love him...don't love him...don't love him...._I do not even feel the tear slide down my cheek. I do not even feel the nails beginning to draw rivulets of blood down the skin of my palms, hearing the fading footsteps of Kaname-sama leading you to the door...taking you away from me...

And then...and then, the words that cause whatever restraint I hold within me to break away completely.

"...why, you ask? It matters, Yuuki...it matters that the girl most important to me...has been bitten by another..."

A slide of flesh over flesh once more...the soft strains of your voice as it rises in both pitch and volume...Kaname-sama's lips pressing against your forehead...

What compels me to rise to my feet and run until I find the door to the room that Akatsuki and I share...I will never know. For what seems like an eternity I stand there, knowing nothing, seeing nothing, feeling nothing, sensing nothing...nothing...nothing...

Hair against hair...arms over flesh...palms clutching cloth...it is all I can perceive as yet—you...standing in his arms...in _his_ arms...not mine..._not mine..._

And then...and then...the salty tang of tears.

Something within me breaks. Pillars, couches, beds, tables, chairs, floors, ceilings all freeze to icy nothingness as I flail wildly—mouth open in a soundless howl of anguish, beginning to tear apart my room, reducing to ashy nothingness the bed, hands falling and tearing wildly at the glass of the cupboards—tearing to pieces whatever possessions I had, ripping away curtains and letting in the incandescent morning sunlight…falling to my knees in that bright, burning hell that so began to fire weals of red against my skin, tearing into my clasped arms and drawing blood…shaking. Shaking, trembling, pulsating, fists pressed against my mouth to stop the humiliating, shameful, unmanly sobs, the wild, uncontrollable tears that so threatened to burst from beneath my clenched eyelids to know how you so, so utterly, so completely belong to him....

Strength fading to nothingness, I slam myself against the wall—a final, futile attempt to distract myself from the ravaged desolation you so cause within my soul…feeling the shards of glass pierce my skin, drawing forth blood, head sinking between my knees, body beginning to tremble uncontrollably. "Why?" It was the only word I understood then. "Why?" _Why can't you love me? Why can't you look at me the way you...the way you look at _him?_ Why...Yuuki?_ _Why can't you love me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why..._

A presence against my own.

I do not look up, merely sensing Akatsuki standing by the doorway, silent, unquestioning.

* * *

(*A/N--Yeah, I'm just like you....I HATE cliffhangers. So I decided to be nice and updated the next chapter like right now lol ... I just love Hanabusa and Akatsuki and their relationship...it's heart-warming and has my stomach in knots after laughing so much too hehe...^_^)

Hope you liked this one!! I'm really sorry if I made Aido OOC or anything ... it's just the things that go on inside his head when he's around someone he can't have ... and like a good little spoiled Noble, he doesn't take that too well hehe...gaaah poor kid, always getting bitchslapped by Kaname!!! ;O

Yuuki doesn't have much of a part in this story, right? She just has to sit there and be the object of Aido's um...unrequited obsession or whatever you wanna call it...but dont worry she's got a bigger role in **_Aftermath, _**the sequel to **_Moments Like These._**

Neways...idk if you've actually bothered reading all this lol ...but enjoy!! =)


	2. Solace

(*A/N--You just gotta love Kain. Always stepping in to save Aido, no matter how irritating he may find his cousin or whatever lol!! ^_^

Jeez, I've really had Aido angsting a lot, right? Well, there's JUST a little more of that here, and then we're all happy =D ... honestly. I hate making him suffer like this.

Damn you, Yuuki! ;( Not just Kaname, not just Zero...you have to make poor Hana-chan fall for you too!!

Well neways ... enjoy =)

* * *

Slowly, my cousin steps in, laying a hand on my shaking shoulders. "Hanabusa," his voice was quiet, firm, reassuring. "Hanabusa…get up."

I cannot move. The heart that had once beaten so joyfully in my chest to see you once more…it remains now a matter of ludicrous irony. This black, broken, charred excuse of that source of life, blood and emotions…what more does it now remain but a barren wasteland I hide behind smiles and blitheness?

And yet, despite this…this terrible desolation I must feel, each time I think of you…and him…has it not always been so? Has it not always been as hopeless? Have I not always known that I can never truly make you mine, that I can never truly make you long to belong to me…as I so long to belong to you and you alone?

Is this...is this what Kiryuu Zero feels, to see you so completely, so irrevocably, so unequivocally in love with Kuran Kaname?

"Hanabusa..." my cousin's voice, usually so flat, so reserved, devoid of overt emotion, at times irritated, at times only slightly impatient...is now soft with concern, a hand clapping onto my shoulder. I barely acknowledge his rough concern. Akatsuki is not one of spoken or demonstrated emotion...but now...now it is a small comfort. "Hanabusa...come on. Get up. Get yourself to together."

I remain a motionless puppet as he pulls me to my feet, roughly dusting off the shards of crushed glass that lay over my clothes—a harsh palm slapping not ungently against my face in an attempt to induce some life within me. "Oi, oi what's this now, eh?" Akatsuki growls, shaking me slightly. "I don't know what's going on here, but whatever the hell it is, you've been hiding it for way too long..."

He pushes me towards the marble-gilded door of the bathroom—I flop like a helpless infant against it. "OI, Hanabusa! If you're thinking I'm gonna give you a BATH too, you better get that out of your head, you hear me? Now get your ass in there and clean up! Gods, you smell like a fishwife..."

It takes several attempts, and finally, he has to fill in the bathtub, as well as summon an attendant—a female Level C vampire, to do what I remain now incapable of doing so...the warmth of the water spilling over my cold frame and the alien touch of her cold, work-roughened hands doing little to distract me, as do the faint sounds of my cousin repairing the damage of the destroyed room with but a few murmured words, silent motions.

Akatsuki has little to do when it comes to convincing me to rest awhile. For now...I can do little more than merely crawl beneath the covers of a bed that—once a pile of dust—looks as though it had never been destroyed, burying my head into the pillow, trying so hard...so very, very hard to forget.

And when his own sleep is disturbed by the choked, uncontrollable sobs that I cannot hold back, even with both fists pressed so hard against my mouth that it draws blood—from lips and knuckles alike, Akatsuki says nothing...merely sitting by the side of my bed, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder every now and then, squeezing it reassuringly, while otherwise keeping his distance. He does not question me.

Ironic as it is that in times of grief such as this...the boundaries between human and vampire turn lesser and lesser in their clarity. Despite the inherent monstrosity of our natures…we laugh the same laughs, weep the same tears, share the same joys, suffer the same griefs.

_If only you could know. If only…if only somehow…somehow, you could know._

When night approaches—day for vampires such as us, I find myself awake far earlier than necessary for class changeover. And that is when I see Akatsuki awake as well, gazing at me fixedly, hawk-like brows drawn into a single line over his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. His expression is at once rueful, admonishing, commiserating, sympathetic—a distracted half-smile tugging at his lips, brows drawn down in what would look to another as disapproval, arms crossed tightly over his chest, features attempting to appear severe, but lessened somehow by his frame lacking the rigidity of an oncoming lecture.

"_Koi desu...ne,_ Hanabusa?"

Akatsuki's words are simple enough. Are you in love, Hanabusa? Do you live, Hanabusa? Do you breathe, Hanabusa? Do you have a reason to live, Hanabusa? They all mean the same. They all merge as a single disparate melody, jarring against my senses, causing ripples of agonizing light to echo within my skull.

For a long, long moment...I cannot answer him. And yet, I cannot lie to him. Akatsuki would never betray me.

And so, I nod. A single nod. A single nod is all it takes to convey the fact that my heart can no longer belong to me.

He sighs, leaning back into the sheets, eyes glimmering slightly in the darkness, still fixed upon me. "Do I _want_ to know?" Akatsuki runs a tired hand through the fiery red-gold hair—now a mess any Day Class girl would trade a lung to run her fingers through—that so matches with his name.

I know not how to answer him. "I cannot..." my voice comes out as a croak not even the ugliest toad would envy. Strange it seems now, how with a motion as simple as sleep, the weight of such emotion can lessen into a blurred, tangled mess lost in the numbing oblivion within ones mind. "I cannot...love..."

And in a single moment...this happy dream, this thankful oblivion which saves ones heart from destruction can, like a candle in the wind, be destroyed.

I turn away from him. I have shamed myself enough already for one to see my tears.

Any moment now, I expect his "Tch..." of irritation at this blatant display of weakness. Never have I seen Akatsuki weep. He is a son of the Kain, a proud, valorous clan, lacking somehow the winsome eccentricity of the Aido, and the arrogant hauteur of the Souen, and to him, a weeping male is no longer a man but merely a pitiful caricature of manhood.

But it no longer matters. Merely thinking of you...merely thinking of Yuuki...

A sigh. Akatsuki takes to his feet, sliding out of the covers in a rustle of cloth, stepping into his slippers and making his way towards the toilet. "You don't have to talk about...it..." his voice is obscured by a yawn. "Just make sure you get out of dorm on time otherwise it's my ass...Dorm Leader's not been too happy with your attendance score either-"

"It's Yuuki," I whisper.

"-and that new _sensei_...old whats-his-name wants something done about that Advanced Calculus book you borr...what?" Akatsuki's hand freezes over the toothbrush he'd been about to place into his mouth. He walks completely out of the toilet now, a comical sight almost in only his boxers, a towel over his shoulders, a green toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. "Say what, Hanabusa?" He cocks a hand behind his ear, leaning forward.

I gaze at him, feeling no rancour, knowing that he has truly not heard me, knowing that somehow, he keeps trying to fool himself into believing that it is no more than a boyish crush...a childish infatuation that will fade away in time, knowing that he is testing me—testing whether I would be courageous in my love or not.

A bittersweet ache floods my chest. "It's Yuuki, Akatsuki," I murmur, eyes fixed unseeingly at him. "I...I love Yuuki. Kurosu Yuuki."

Akatsuki blinks. There is a soft clutter as the toothbrush falls from his mouth to the floor.

The silence that follows is impenetrable, broken only by the sounds of my cousin in the shower, leaving the toilet in another ten minutes, giving me my time to enter. His eyes, when they pass me, do not meet mine.

I understand his silence, his need for time to allow the fact to sink into his mind...the terrible, unshakable truth of knowing that I have come to love a woman so forbidden...a woman already belonging to another. Taken. Claimed. He cannot meet my eyes even after that, not turning away from me, and yet not turning towards me either.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I enter, feeling a humorless grin tug a corner at my lips at the sight I see before me, wondering how the Day Class girls would react to see their beloved Idol-senpai so...so utterly wrecked. Broken. Destroyed. My hair now lies in limp, colorless strands over a face, drawn and pallid, eyes bloodshot, lips chewed raw and bleeding slightly, shoulders slumped with defeat. _Are you happy now?_ I whisper, not even feeling the water fall over my body. _Are you happy now? Are you happy now?_

_Or do you still weep? Do you hate me? You would do good to hate me..._the water freezes around me, turning into icicles what was formerly warm fluidity.

Pain. Raw, indescribable pain, as they fall around me…drawing blood. An unconscious whimper steals past my lips. I much liked this kind of pain...it was so much...so much easier to grasp, and identify and put a name to...such a convenient distraction...

"Hanabusa!" Akatsuki, drawn by the smell of my blood, rushes in, a growl of frustration leaving his throat as he slugs me as hard as he can on the shoulder, a tiny flame escaping his open palm to extinguish completely the icicles. "Hanabusa, you idiot!"

He strikes me—I fall limply against the now cold water of the bathtub, a small splash falling over Akatsuki's unclad feet and he leaps into the air, letting out a very uncharacteristic yelp at the cold water striking him.

And despite everything...despite everything, despite all the tears and blood and pain and grief...despite the fact that even now, as I sit here in this cold bathtub with Akatsuki hovering over, bellowing his lungs out at me...despite it all, I find some kind of easening of tension within me, feeling my eyes fix upon my stoic, usually monosyllabic-answering cousin with an expression of patient fondness, noticing how our roles have switched suddenly. Usually, it is I who is the loud one, the argumentative one, causing a riot over the smallest of matters, leaping, gesticulating, demanding to be heard, to be listened to...and Akatsuki the quiet, patient listener, preferring to give no opinion until hearing both sides of the story. "...out of that water before you catch a cold!" he bellows, grabbing my shoulders and attempting to hoist me up. "Hanabusa, you really are an-"

"Akatsuki," I murmur, standing to my feet, catching the bathrobe he throws at me. His rant comes to an abrupt stop, and he merely stands there, trying so hard to continue glaring at me while at the same time trying to hide the concern, the worry etched into every feature. I look at him for a long moment, breath leaving me in a short, rapid burst as I chuckle quietly to myself. "Thank you."

Akatsuki's jaw drops slightly and he stares at me for a full minute, before I walk past him, reaching my cupboard for my uniform. "Hoi, Hanabusa..." his voice reaches me—already I can feel him near me slightly, unsure of what to do, of what to say, of how best to phrase his words. "Hanabusa, you know what'll happen if..."

"I know," I whisper, hands faltering. The pain...has not truly left me. I know it has eased the knot of grief within me, albeit slightly, only because of the distance, and only because of the warmth of Akatsuki's companionship.

I know it shall return when I look at you once more...when I watch Kaname-sama's hands upon the flesh I long so deeply to melt into my own, when I watch Kaname-sama's lips claim the brow I yearn so deeply to press my own to…when I watch Kiryuu Zero and you patrol the Academy gardens together, when I sense the fall and trickle of your blood as that arrogant silver-haired bastard so claims it as his own..."I know, Akatsuki."

My cousin sighs, beginning to throw on his own clothing—the same half-unbuttoned shirt, the same partially buttoned white jacket, the same mussed indifference to his hair. He watches, a slight wrinkle of worry beginning to form between his fine proud brows when I refuse to look into the mirror, merely pulling on my clothes, sitting down on the bed and pulling on my socks. "And I thought _I_ was going for the wrong woman here," Akatsuki muttered, hands fidgeting slightly at the clasp of his bookbag.

I threw him a commiserating look, knowing that we both somehow stood on the same leaky raft here. Both of us in love with women in love with the same man. "You know what will happen if Kaname-sama finds out, Hanabusa," Akatsuki speaks bluntly now, and I feel a surge of a miniscule comfort fill me at it. This is the Kain Akatsuki I know and have grown up with. Blunt. Frank. Honest. "You know how he'd make you beg for death..."

My fingers pause, unknowing suddenly of how to knot together the shoelace. "If Kaname-sama knew," I murmured, more to myself than to him. "Then he would have killed me several years ago."

Akatsuki looks at me, gaze wide, disbelieving, yet somehow proud, holding the faintest hint of respect. "All this time?" he asks, though both of us know that he has no need to. "All this time...you loved her?"

I nod, feeling for the first time what it is to smile and know sorrow at the same time. "All this time," I whispered. "All this time...I've remained silent about it." I looked up at Akatsuki, a fist clenching helplessly against the soft blanket beneath me. "Ever since that time we saw her sitting by that staircase as a little girl...waiting for Kaname-sama..." I pause, head bowing down to my chest. "All this time...I've loved her."

He is silent, unknowing of how to respond to this. "Had you...smelt her blood then?" Akatsuki fights to keep his voice merely curious, unable to comprehend how I, one of the Kyuuketsuki, so much older than Yuuki, who could not have been older than eleven or twelve at that time, could have lost his heart to her. To a little human girl, when nearly all the females of the Kyuuketsuki vied for my attentions. "Did her blood hold some appeal to you then?"

"Do you believe in the gods the humans speak of, Akatsuki?" I ask softly, knowing that I did not need to answer his question over Yuuki's blood. He knew as well as I did that it was not her blood that so made me love her. "Do you?"

Akatsuki throws me a look of fleeting annoyance, vexed slightly at my roundabout manner of answering. "If I did, I probably would be questioning by existence as a Noble vampire, right about..." he takes an exaggerated glance at his wrist-watch."...now. And we've only got fifteen minutes till class changeover, so if you wanna hurry up about it-"

"It's what I felt when I first looked at her," I say simply, silencing him yet again. "It's what I felt when I first looked at her standing there, watching us...waiting for Kaname-sama. When she bowed down to us. At first, I...I didn't see much in her...she was only…only prey for one such as me. But that's when I remembered how...how beautiful she was."

My eyes closed at the memory. Her hair had been so much longer then…lying in swathes of red-black to her waist, those eyes so wide, so innocent, tipped with dark, curling lashes that reached nearly the tip of her nose, the cheeks fuller, rounder, the figure smaller, the chin more rounded, the cheekbones less sharply defined. "So…beautiful. Like an angel. It's what made me believe in some kind of…some kind of god, or some kind of deity, I don't care what it's called…Kami, Allah, Jehovah…it didn't matter. She was just…so beautiful."

My cousin is silent. It is a moment or two before I look up at him once more, knowing the expression on my face—for his brows draw into an all-too familiar furrow of disapproval, though his lips quirk at the corners. I do not blame him. Here I sit, uncaring, rambling on like a lovesick fool.

And yet, I cannot stop. "Is she not beautiful, Akatsuki?" I whisper, a wave of tenderness racking me at the memory. "Is she not the most beautiful of all you could ever have lain eyes upon?"

He coughs embarrassedly into a clenched fist, unknowing of what to answer—unwilling to rile me as he knows he will were he to agree wholeheartedly as I so wish him to do, and unwilling to agree with me and so give me hope. "She is…pretty," Akatsuki finally admits, coughing uncontrollably now, his movements decidedly uncomfortable. "Very pretty," he adds quickly, when I glare at him.

I gaze at him suspiciously, knowing my fear to be unfounded, irrational—but at the same time, hoping wildly, beyond hope, knowing that it will never come true…wishing somehow, that I were the only one to see her as I did.

I could almost…wish her to have been born disfigured. Unsightly. Hideous. Something I could never have associated with her. With my Yuuki. My angel.

For I knew, somehow, in my heart of hearts…that I would still have loved her. It had not been even her fey childish beauty that had so bewitched me. It had not even been the magic of the rippling honey-sweetness of her blood.

It had been that simple, untainted purity of spirit—gleaming like virgin snow, glimmering faintly, but steadily in the darkness of the Night Class staircase…the same staircase I had so accosted her in…the same snow Kaname-sama had found her in all those years ago…the same snow as in her name. Yuuki. My angel.

Akatsuki now sits besides me, our positions mirroring each other—elbows resting on knees, heads leaning slightly downward. "And what does Kurosu Yuuki-chan's beauty have to do with the fact that you've begun worshipping perhaps the biggest mistake human's ever made, eh, Hanabusa?" he asked, tone dry with mild sarcasm, yet curious at the same time. "Hmm?"

I glare at him suspiciously. "Why are you calling her Yuuki-_chan_?" I demand.

Akatsuki rolls his eyes. "Just answer the question, Hanabusa."

I scowl at him for a few moments longer, aware that he means no ill but feeling like a peevish child at the same time. Knowing that Akatsuki means well, I relax. Remembering his question suddenly, I lean back onto the sheets, a helpless smile tugs at my lips. Strange as it seems now that I can actually smile without the pain tightening over my heart...I know that it will come back again.

I prayed to this human creation of infinite power to give me the strength to live through it.

"It's times like those...when she looks at me, when she just...just looks at me like that, that I actually believe, Akatsuki," I speak simply. "Only a god could ever be capable of creating such perfection."

And as we walk, during class changeover—my greeting towards my devoted Day Class fangirls slightly reserved this time, merely smiling and nodding, I cannot help but search the crowd for her, for the sight of her...the one I love. Even watching her now as I do, running from one crowd to another, blowing her whistle, the dying sunset catching her hair and setting ablaze the streaks of russet and chestnut against the skeins of otherwise jet-black...the bittersweet emotion that begins to creep into my chest at the sight of all that I have ever loved, begins to overwhelm me.

As if on cue, she turns, feeling perhaps the weight of my gaze against her, and for a moment, all of time seems to stand still, the crowds recede, the pain subsides...there is only me, there is only her.

Only me...only Yuuki.

This is that faint moment in the sunset before it disappears completely beneath the horizon, leaving naught but a swathe of red-gold against the purple-black sky, red scar-like wounds reaching thin tendrils of light into the darkening sweetness of my time. A faint, fleeting moment of such numinous delicacy that I can never hope to describe in words...the soft, dark lights of the evening giving to her form a gentleness, a fragility that the noon sun burns away, the lines of her figure blurring into the autumn-gold of the trees behind her and the fading light of the sunset. Those eyes are wide, dark, full of secrets, of mysteries I can never truly hope to claim, lips curved into not a smile...only hinting a promise of it.

I cannot believe a mere human to be capable of such perfection. She leaves me breathless...a woman so impossibly beautiful that no man or vampire in this world is deserving of her. Bewitching. Captivating.

And she stirs within me an emotion akin to what humans describe to be as magic.

And she will never know. She will never truly know or understand how beautiful she is. To the human eye, she is seen as a rather ordinary, pretty-looking girl with fine, dark-lashed, doe-like eyes and smooth, unmarked skin and her soft jet-black hair that gleams with the subtle crimson of wine—perhaps her only pleasing attributes, to say nothing of her girlish frame nor her lack of height nor her absolute lack of academic proficiency.

To my eye...she is beyond words, beyond description. A being far too precious, too delicate, too fragile too innocent to be dragged into the darkness of my world. Bewitching. Captivating. An angel.

A being I would die for without a moment's lingering...whom I would die for gladly, for whom I would bleed willingly and joyfully—whose simple gaze can leave me with a heart turned into a dull, throbbing ache with unfulfilled hunger, desire flowing like a fountain, a moving sea between the shores of our souls, the purest love—untouched, unstained, the sensation an atheist may feel standing before God.

The moment passes, and yet my eyes linger on her for perhaps a moment longer than necessary...feeling my heart leap, watching her eyes stay upon me as well, longing so deeply to know what passes behind those depthless russet eyes as she watches me.

It is...truly in moments like these that I actually believe in the power humans so foolishly place upon idols and spirits. It is...truly in moments like these...that I believe that Kurosu Yuuki could come to love me…Aido Hanabusa. Not Kuran Kaname. Not Kiryuu Zero. _Me._

It is...truly in moments such as these that I feel the sweetest contentment within me...as pure, as untainted, as undefiled as a mountain spring.

I can only vaguely feel the smarting of the skin at the back of my neck as the combined glares of both Kuran Kaname and Kiryuu Zero bore into me at this prolonged gaze, but for this moment...for moments like these...it does not matter.

Akatsuki nudges me slightly. "You're holding up a line here..._Idol-senpai," _he mutters, though the grin tugging the corner of his mouth gives it all away.

I grin, nodding, beginning to walk...feeling a sudden lightness of spirit within me. I can still feel the glares, can still feel Kaname-sama's dark, jealous rage, can still feel Kiryuu's fist clench at this gaze between Yuuki and I...as though we shared a secret none other could remain privy to.

But to have this little...this little...it is enough for me. Even if I cannot claim her as a lover...to merely know that by serving Kaname-sama I am protecting her...it is enough for me.

And so, I walk once more, the stride turning into a strut as line after line of "IDOL-SENPAI!" screaming fangirls line up for me. Once more, I can feel her eyes on me..._just a glance,_ she will explain to herself again and again, _just a glance to make sure he behaves..._it is enough for me. It is enough, knowing that she feels...that she must feel something...anything.

"Ohayo, onna-tachi! You're all so cute and energetic today too!

* * *

(*A/N: I'm really sorry about the shitty Japanese both at the beginning and the middle and the end...I know a little bit of it conversationally, but nothing more lol ... I mean, I just rely on it phonetically and when I heard Jun Fukuyama say something else when Aido bursts out, screaming "Good morning, ladies!!" I practically froze.....gaah moving on!!

This story is not over yet!!! **_Aftermath_** is gonna be updated as soon as possible lol ... idk i wrote **_Moments Like These_** a really really long time back, and so the writing style may be way different than that of **_Aftermath, _**which I wrote recently ... so yeah ... gaah i read through this and don't like one bit of it ... lets hope you do!! =D


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